hi i dont know where to start but i visited my dr yesterday for yet another meds change but decided to be honest with her,im not even sure which forum to get into i have so many things wrong with me? well iv been treated for bi-polar but when i was honest with dr about my dope use & sudden withdrawl she decided not to change yet till effects of withdrawl wear off? also i saw a psych once to please dr about diagnosis of bi-polar she said that my childhood abuse maybe the underlying prob? even though i couldnt tell her much because i dont remember much, i dont have very many memories of this only that 3 of my uncles use to climb into my bedroom window & id pretend to be asleep now maybe nothing happened but my fear of seeing the psych again leads the dr to believe that it prob did? how can i not remember something like that & why does it even matter now & can this manifest itself as bi-polar? im so scared that if i remember it will ruine my life even more. i also become obsessed with everything i do in the past i was diagnosed with ocd ,i smoke like a chimney i dont exercise i dont eat right i dont care if i live or die but not suicidal,im reckless when driving im detached from everyone i dont leave my house i dont function as a wife or mother my lifes **** anywonder i dont care if i live or die ,i cant sleep ,consentrate i disacociate & have small flashbacks of abuse nothing conclusive but so how do i know if abuse happened? im so confused now it was easy when i thought it was just bi-polar cause nothing much to do but try new meds but now that dr thinks that all this is just bandaids to cover a sore that wont heal until i deal with it, im so scared of this?anyone else in this situation please feedback would be great