daffodil.... I am so sorry that you are going through pain right now. And, I know how it feels to lose someone that you love because of your own actions, or failings.

Let me tell you that your boyfriend was not looking for "someone better". He simply could no longer cope with your issues. That does not make others "better" than you. I am certain that you are a special person, otherwise he wouldn't of been with you in hte first place. There had to be something about you that attracted him and kept him with you.

I know the pain of losing someone dear to you, I recently have also. Although, I think it has been like two months for me now..... but it seems like just yesterday. I know that is my own mind playing tricks on me to trick me into thinking that I still ahve a chance with her. Because I know in my own my the longer that I go without seeing her, the less of a chance we have of being together again.

And, like you I know that I won't be with her again.... and the pain is strong and runs deep.... very deeTake care and get better and then someone will see that beauty in you once again.