Quote:
Originally Posted by ClinicallyClueless
Unless, I missed it which could very well be. The title of your entry does not match you comments or replies. If you are asking if understanding equals forgiveness the answer is an emphatic "no!" It helps lead to forgiveness, but forgiveness is quite painful and requires feeling all of the rage and pain so that you can own it. You can't forgive what you can't identify and own.
I know for me that I try to use "but I understand," as a defense. To me if I understand, that lets the other person off the hook and then I am the "all bad guy." Then, I don't see that the other person is responsible for their own behavior because "I understand it."
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No you didn't miss it...
we morphed into this because of previous postings and PMs.
I agree with you about the, "I understand it."
For me, though, I had to let go of understanding anything about my abuser. My education and career gave me some insight about him, but I learned more from a few of his actions after a session of abuse...
Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve.
~~unknown~~
http://capp.psychcentral.net