Hey guys,

I really appreciate your replies. While I understand everything that the both of you have commented, I too am confused as to why she behaves the way she does sometimes.

She truly is a remarkable person. She has a great sense of selflessness and typically, others come first. She always says that IF she can help someone, she will.

She has explained to me in the past during our first argument regarding this client that what happens when he comes over is he does his laundry and visits with her. According to her, he has a legitimate right as a client of this company to use the company washers & dryers. According to my fiancee, his house has no washer or dryer.

However, other houses in the area that are also owned by the same company, do.

Also, she's told me that all of the other houses are pretty much in the same distance range of each other. So the walk to a different house shouldn't be any extra effort on his part, no?

I asked her exactly how she could explain him being there for up to 6 hours a day doing laundry. All the while, he was walking there... Perhaps with up to 3-4 loads of laundry?

I never really got a clear, defining answer to this question.

I also asked her to talk with upper management within the company. Let them know that being around him is uncomfortable for her. This could be easily explained away. For one, he's already admitted to have a crush on my fiancee. He's also got a history of falling for the female care givers within the company. All she would have to do is mention that his extended visits and late night phone calls were becoming too much for her and making her feel uncomfortable.

She pretty much refused to do this! Why? I don't know as it would really make me feel so very much better. I let her know that little tid bit as well.

I mentioned before that somehow, someway, this guy just up and quit coming over and calling, period. I asked her how this could be since nobody has ever spoken to management regarding this?

She cannot tell me. Either that, or she will not tell me. Perhaps, he still calls and drops by? How would I ever truly know? This is exactly why I would NEED her management to get involved to put my mind at rest.

Now, regarding me setting her up, I can see what you mean. Perhaps I was being unfair with how I reacted. You're absolutely right - If I told her it was a decision she needs to make, I should have accepted it. I definitely could have used more tact to handle the situation. To be perfectly honest, that was my original intention. I was going to just let it pass, but to explain, not justify, my emotions came rushing in and they're not easy to overcome sometimes.

I really didn't want to just up and tell her no, though. I didn't want to be "that guy".

I am going to be calling her in roughly an hour. Typically we talk every night for about an hour or so.

I want to talk with her about this situation, but I really want to do that when we're both home, face to face. It's more personal that way, more intimate I guess.

What do you think? Is it best to have conversations like this via the phone when I could simply wait another evening and have the conversation face to face?

Do you think I should let her know some of the points that the two of you brought up regarding boundaries as a caregiver?

My thoughts are so jumbled on this that I don't know whats the best move to make right now. Any help would be greatly appreciated!