Hey deliquesce,

Thanks for the reply.

To explain, my fiancée had called me and essentially had asked my permission to do the shift. She hadn't yet told her supervisor that she would do the shift.

However, I do realize that since I asked her to make the decision, I should have lived with whatever she thought was right.

I do trust that she can make correct decisions.

My reasoning for acting the way I had was I didn't want this client to believe that the friendship they once had can be re-ignited. I believe the possibility of my fiancée being around him for 3 days & nights straight, would be a catalyst for him to try and make it so.

Though I do believe she wouldn't let that happen. However, I also believed she would never act so inappropriately with a client in this company. Why would she intentionally give him her cell phone number and exchange text messages to begin with? She also exchanged text messages with him while SHE was at HOME with me. She also didn't tell me about them... I had to FIGURE IT OUT with conversation and confront her. That's beyond a professional client/caregiver relationship.

Wouldn't you feel the same way if it was your significant other hanging out socially with a client of a company they worked for? Especially knowing that YOU CAN'T spend time with her while he/she is there?

She took his late night phone calls and hung out with him all day Tuesday & Wednesday. She accepted gifts from him such as photo's of scenery the clients father had taken.

That's too intimate of a friendship for MY FIANCÉE to be having with another man!

He admittedly has a "crush" on her and has told her she was good looking in an enthusiastic manner. Matter of fact, it was my fiancée that had asked him - Do you think i'm hot? That's not what I expect from my future wife and I will not accept it.

When I initially began explaining to her that his closeness to her was becoming a problem for me, she protested and said she was doing nothing wrong. To this day, she dislikes the fact that I don't like him and her hanging out.

She put her job in jeopardy by text messaging him. The caregiver from the house he always came from talked with management regarding the appropriateness of the visits. Management confronted this client regarding his intentions and he replied that she's good company and helps by listening to his problems.

So i've been told.

Had management been more curious about the situation, they could have pulled phone records of BOTH my fiancee as well as the client and learned they had text messaged each other, as well as called each other! Learning that this had happened when SHE was off-shift and AT HOME, this could have led to prison time. There are laws against these sorts of things. What could I have done to prevent it? Nothing.

[Edit]

During the first argument, she thought I was trying to keep her from having "male friends". I said that's not so. This is different. She explained: If I (she) were at say.. wal-mart, met a guy looking at a product they were both interested in, would it be wrong to go and have lunch with this guy and discuss the product?

I said hell yeah that would be wrong. You don't take strange guys out to lunch when you're in a committed relationship! Maybe... MAYBE if I were invited along would it be alright.

I asked her if a girl with a great car (i'm an auto tech) came through the shop and we hit it off talking about her car, how would she feel if I took this girl to lunch to discuss the car? She told me that if it was innocent and was truly a lunch about the car.. she would be fine with it.

Yeah, ok. But what happens when the one lunch about the car turns into a phone call to say hi what's up that turns into another lunch...

You see what i'm trying to say? She was hellbent on being not in the wrong. Her actions in the past are a direct result of how I am acting now.

[/edit]

So, in conclusion, I stand by my reaction and hold firm on my position. I just wish I would have handled it with more tact and just said "Doing that shift would make me uncomfortable. Please don't" or something like that.