Two of my online friends have disapeared from my life. It takes me a while to get close to people. Trust issues. But I have let myself get close to both of them. We went through a lot together and we shared, supported, loved each other. Now I don't even know where they stand or what they are doing.

The last time I spoke to one of them she was suicidal. Is she dead or alive? We didn't argue or anything. We even finished our conversation with a hug saying we would talk to each other the next day. But she has disapeared, leaving no trace behind her.

The other one is completally ignoring me. Why? I don't know.

Both of them are not from this site. I met them before I was a member here. I love them so much and I'm so worried about them. Did I do or said anything wrong to them? I don't know. Was I too much a burden? Was I imposing myself too much? Were they tired of me? Is it my fault? So many questions without anwers.

I don't think I will let myself ever get close to someone again. Maybe it is me who is the problem. Maybe I am not a good friend. So many maybe.

I love them so much! But there is nothing I can do. I just wish they would tell me that they are ok even if they would say they hate me and don't want anything to do with me ever again. I just want to know if they are ok.

nightdream