The only motives you can be sure of are your own...and they are nobel.

One of the geatest challenges in anyones life and especially those of us who suffer with emotional hurdles is creating and maintaining firm but loving boundaries...

In your examples anxietygirl,,both circumstances were displays of folks whose motives were questionable but who's behavior was despicable. Your were perfectly within your rights to remind them of their lack of tact and sensitivity,,and by that you would have been nearly assured of not having to expereince such nonsense from those people again...And, in turn,,you would have felt some satisfaction in designating a personal boundary of acceptableness and personal strength...

People never cease to amaze me in the extent of their self centered blindness...

Please accept my personal condolences on the tragic loss of your Mom...

Lenny