I am not middle aged and I do not want to sound condescending or contrite, but are you guys still best friends and when was the last time you watched a really funny movie together? Just thought of it as my partner often takes me out of the pressure of the relationship( I to0 have issues with intimacy) by "diverting my attention" and then I find myself spilling my guts!

He is very crafty at getting me to talk and we talk like best friends. Glass of wine, waiting in the car for take away or when I am in the shower. It is harder for me to run away!

Don't Know if that helps.........Good luck and have a laugh if you can.