I am totally against divorce, but this guy needs a wake up call. He seems to think that he can do whatever he wants, and he can, but I would just make sure that he knows that he will be doing it without you.

He apparently has made it clear that he is not willing to talk about it and not willing to be accountable to you. He doesn't care if he exposes your children, okay maybe he cares, but again not enough to even admit it's a problem that he is willing to correct. He is putting it on you by telling you that you are overreacting.

I would definitely leave/kick him out and file for legal separation. The longer you put up with it, the more entrenched he will get.

JMHO!