stella. you're already on the right track with your T and pdoc. being truthful with them will enable them to help you more. why don't you keep a journal of how you feel each day? you can even rank you moods by 1-5. 1 being great, etc. then take it with you to therapy. when we take ownership of our therapy good things start to happen. it takes work but you are in a safe enviroment to talk. i can totally relate to where you are at. i was there once myself. if you are committed to your therapy and are as honest as you can, then you will discover healthy ways to think and heal your fears.
i hope you will keep us posted and you can always private message me if you wish.