Really think about why you were mistreated as a child. I'm sure you were mistreated because your parents didn't know what they were doing and/or, they had major problems which interfered with their parenting. Everyone who was mistreated believes that it happened because they deserved it. This is the conclusion that children come to (and many are told this directly). As an adult you can come to a different conclusion about this if you think about it.

I'm glad that you ate today!

Please don't think of yourself as a failure. Most people who had bad upbringings have issues to work out. You are no different than anyone else in these situations.