It saddens me that this misunderstanding has occurred between us. For my part, I am sorry.
Sometimes it's hard to read between the words, and apparently I've royally screwed up.

Cap

No, Cap, you are human. Communication is not as easy as some people think. And I do think that a misinteruptitation (did i spell that right??) happened. But there is no reason to beat yourself up. You have made yourself clear now so no harm, no foul
I also think that CantStopCrying was right about me being defensive and on edge sorta speak because my wife accusing me of being abusive. I have said it before, i hate being called that.

But no, I do not think that I was looking at her lack of housekeeping activities instead of her unfaithfulness bc it was too painfull. I told her about her lack of housekeeping might've (and i am strong to believe that is was the most obvious one that came to my attention) had me so disappointed and sad, that i didnt want to come home. I remember I used to come home everyday for lunch and watch a tv show with her (usually Charmed hehe) and spend some time with her. But I stopped doing that....The only explanation I could come up with (because the neglect was obvious to me when i realized i didint come home for lunch, and i dreaded coming home), was her lack of housekeeping. That's the only thing that changed. I would like to think that it was such a small task and easy to accomplish that she would've done fine at it. I really did/do want her to the mother of my children, and i said "ok" to her being a housewife bc 1. I got a promotion and money wasn't really an issue 2. I was looking at starting a family with her before she went to college. I just wanted to see if she could be a good housewife. I understand you get caught up doing this or that or you get on the computer and lose track of time, but that was a daily occurance with her. It only got worse when she started talking to the guys in Richmond(and went there to see them instead of doing what she promised to do).