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You most certainly DO NOT have a cold heart. Your hurting for the past and the present and you have every right to hurt. I have a similar relationship with my father and I find it so difficult to cut ties even though he continues to hurt me to this day. I often think I am a glutten for punishment but then I think maybe I'm still hoping and praying he will love me.
Forgivness is hard. I dont even think I know how. I think that you are a kind, loving and gentle person that cared enough of yourself and your children to break the cycle of abuse. For that you should feel proud.

Do not feel obligated to tend to the needs of your mother. You have your own needs and the needs of your children that should be met first. I know this situation is a difficult one for you and I am sorry. PM me if you ever need to. I just wanted you to know that your not cold-hearted. Your just hurting.

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