Tishi,
I have read all of the responses and yours rings true with me. I confronted him again about how I feel, and he assured me that he has not acted on anything. He was curious, but would never hurt me in that way. The gambling was a one time thing, and I was very clear with him that if it happens again I won't cover the debt, he will have to get help, or he will have to find other living arrangements until he sorts himself out.
I agree that we need counselling. I'm sure I would have to go myself initially, but he would probably be amiable to coming over time. He doesn't have much faith in therapy I'm afraid. He has had a rough couple of years with some medical problems and I am convinced his meds have more of an affect on his behaviour than he'll admit. I checked them online and some do have depression as a side effect.
Thank you for your kind words. I have two beautiful children that have to come first, and they love their father very much. I truly believe he's not a bad person, but certainly needs some help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tishie
Hi,
I am really sorry for your situation however I don't tend to agree with the others regarding what is going on. Yes your husband has been looking at images on the net however this does not (untill you find out otherwise) mean that he is acting upon it. One of the problems with the net is that you can search for one thing and it takes you off in all sorts of directions so this find shows only that he looks at images of some sort.
As for the gambling, the amount of money gambled would have been easy enough to have lost in 30mins and it could well have been toted up due to him worrying about having lost a smaller amount. No proof for the moment that he has an addiction.
The reason for his lies could well be due to embarrasment as the areas he has strayed into are hard to admit by even the most loyal of partners and the most communitive of relationships.
For my money he needs to be told about your concerns, that things are going in the wrong direction and that you both need to go to a counsilling service to discover wether or not he has a problem with addiction or just has a problem with the reactions hes getting in this situation.
After 15 years I believe this relationship deservese every chance possible as most marriages these days don't even make five years.....
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