(((CC))) i could so relate to where you are today.  i used to feel the same way. once i told my T that i had no control over my life cause bipolar told ME how i was going to feel from day to day. so it's ok to rant. rant all you want and i'll listen. there are so many of us that understand the frustrations you are feeling. you're going to get better... 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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