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Old Jan 15, 2009, 07:03 PM
lost-soul lost-soul is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: paradise
Posts: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by stella01 View Post
hi i dont know where to start but i visited my dr yesterday for yet another meds change but decided to be honest with her,im not even sure which forum to get into i have so many things wrong with me? well iv been treated for bi-polar but when i was honest with dr about my dope use & sudden withdrawl she decided not to change yet till effects of withdrawl wear off? also i saw a psych once to please dr about diagnosis of bi-polar she said that my childhood abuse maybe the underlying prob? even though i couldnt tell her much because i dont remember much, i dont have very many memories of this only that 3 of my uncles use to climb into my bedroom window & id pretend to be asleep now maybe nothing happened but my fear of seeing the psych again leads the dr to believe that it prob did? how can i not remember something like that & why does it even matter now & can this manifest itself as bi-polar? im so scared that if i remember it will ruine my life even more. i also become obsessed with everything i do in the past i was diagnosed with ocd ,i smoke like a chimney i dont exercise i dont eat right i dont care if i live or die but not suicidal,im reckless when driving im detached from everyone i dont leave my house i dont function as a wife or mother my lifes **** anywonder i dont care if i live or die ,i cant sleep ,consentrate i disacociate & have small flashbacks of abuse nothing conclusive but so how do i know if abuse happened? im so confused now it was easy when i thought it was just bi-polar cause nothing much to do but try new meds but now that dr thinks that all this is just bandaids to cover a sore that wont heal until i deal with it, im so scared of this?anyone else in this situation please feedback would be great
hi stella, i feel the same thing to...its hard for me in the morning to wake up thinking that when i am sleeping i'm dead....i really want to die, but thinking about my family i need to be strong in my life...pretending to be positive si that i can fight the fear i feel inside...yeah my life is so '''' and i feel that way....sometimes i an thinking what is the purpose of life...i know like the movie of someday we'll know...the girl named mandy moore there has leukemia and her motive in life is to make a miracle...well but i dont know why we are still living...well just take care of yourself...