Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamC
I need to do well in my classes, I need an internship. I constantly question my own intelligence, worry about what my grades on papers that have yet to be handed back. I feel inferior to others, I cannot find a job, I found an internship but that fell through. This anxiety, and uncertainty has left me with a general feeling of despair and a lack of control over my life in general. While I can make decisions of my own, what I will be allowed to do in my life is up to other people grading me or hiring me.
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It seems like you're giving too much power to other people in your life. This may be how you survived in your family of origin, or school, or both (or something else), but it sounds maladaptive now (and will be for anyone entering adulthood I would think).
In mindfulness they would teach you that these people may have power over certain aspects of your life, but, for example, they don't have the power to make you *feel* any way certain about things. IOW if you feel devastated about a job rejection, etc., that may be something that you're bringing to the table (which you seem to have recognized in your other post about chronically feeling inferior, second-best, etc.) Looking to the past for "the answer" as to why these feelings exist can help but also may not always be necessary (I used to think the opposite, I believe it's a post-Freudian intellectual hangover).
