Some PC folks can quote multiple posts and reply to them all; I'm cyber-challenged & don't know how, but wanted to say thanks to each of you on this. You've put a lot of thought and care into your comments & have helped me to see more clearly what the possibilities are.

When T said big boundary issue, I thought she meant an issue of B attempting to violate my boundaries (by putting me in the middle); but now I think she meant B was asking my permission to violate A's boundaries - or - maybe both. Why B's therapist would encourage either, I do not know. If I simply have to tell SOMEONE a deep problem, T is the one; telling an additional person won't necessarily help me, and may harm them, or others.... I will work on this over the weekend... won't see T for 2.5 wks, but I may call her, something I rarely/never do.

In session, T asked me 1000 questions about A, and made a lot-o-notes (why notes? I wondered). When I looked into B's face I could see so much suffering, and it hurt me to say, let me think about it; but I suspect I know the issue, and if I'm right, it's theirs to resolve, not a dang thing I can do about it. I would only drive A away from me, which isn't going to help anything.

sigh. families. THANK YOU ALL for your help. You are the best!