hope this is not off topic.

I told my older sister my earliest memory, I was about 3 or 4. When she explained what was actually going on at that moment, of which I was remembering only one harmless detail, I was shocked speechless - a very traumatic event. She tells me there was a lot of other bad stuff back then, and I guess so, because it seems that I grew up with a rock solid self concept as a very bad, despicable person, and all the "positive affirmations" in the world don't make much of a dent in it.

I am wondering if I should look into hypnosis to try to bring up more of that far off past... if I cannot remember it, how can I ever get rid of its effects? Or should I leave it alone?