Rachel,
I am so very sorry to heard about your Dad. You must be in a world of hurt right now and feeling very alone. Sometimes we all need help when the world comes crashing down, and you are bearing a very heavy load for someone your age.
Can you do something for me, even though you don't know me from anyone? Please find someone to talk with about your feelings--a neighbor, a teacher, a social worker, the parent of a friend--okay? You can email me, if that would help.
Please keep us posted.