Hi Rhia, yeah, messes are hard to deal with when you have anxiety. With anxiety you feel that everything has to be in place for everything to be alright. I worked my way through this. Now I realize that everything is alright because everything is alright. It's not alright because everything is in place. Yes, we acquired this anxiety from not feeling secure while growing up and acquired the beliefs that environmental tidiness will bring psychological peace. Continuing to believe this and depending on it stops the search for real peace which comes from working through issues and the past that is tied to them.

Actually having a partner who is stable and not anxious is your lifeline. My husband kept being the nonanxious rock for me which helped me immensely to move beyond my anxiety. If you had an anxious partner you would spiral each other to bad places. The only people who can understand this are anxious or previously anxious people. We'll understand you!

Moving is unnerving when you are anxious. I made a big move 14 years ago and it was what really helped me to get better (it shook things up so that I could really see myself better and make changes).