"is the hope that I can get some demonstration of caring about me, of acknowledging me as a worthy dignified person, of giving me some respect as a decent person rather than treating me like I was some sort of previously unrecognized serial killer"

Not to further push you, insult you, or harm you... so please read with caring intent... unfortunately the only way *any* of us can get that caring is to give it to ourselves first. Only then does it really exist, others see it, and begin to demonstrate it to us. It is that whole "what you focus on, you create" thing.... pain in the *** really, but it is true. I also struggle with this (seeking for ppl who care about me rather than ignore me). the more i care about myself, the more ppl show up who care about me.