Hey there, sorry so long until I replied. Had to take a time out. I think that what struck me most is how you speak as if you are ashamed of reaching out to us "strangers". That is how it was for me at the beginning. I felt like such a heap because I had no one at all that I could tell any of this too. But you know what? I shouldn't have felt that way, neither should you. This is a starting place. It is a practice ground. It is somewhere safe to begin the road that is so hard to travel. There is no shame in that. No shame in taking a deep breath and summoning the courage to spill your guts out for maybe the first time then finding a way to scoop them back up and put them back inside. This is major work you are doing. It is only the beginning. When I first started coming here I never imagined that today I would be sitting in a room full of living people telling them what I was feeling and being able to see their reactions to my words. When I first started coming here I would have had a nervous breakdown just trying to get to a support group meeting. But here I practiced. Here I learned that it is ok to say these things that hurt us. It is ok to let it out. It isn't the end of the world if someone else knows that I cut, or sometimes feel like I am crazy. Anyway, always remember this is only the beginning and to begin a journey like we are on takes a lot of courage.
Take care,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson