Thank you all. I think each comment made some sense.

EM, the idea of moving on is what I have been trying to do. I worry about T holding onto misconceptions (but that may be old stuff if you know what I mean). Thanks for reminding me.

Echoes, yes, letting go of the idealization and landing on the earth with a thud. T has said in the past that I am noticing his limitations. Hey move over, so we can share the swing.

I think part of this is noticing in him what I notice in myself and I am frustrated. Accepting myself is what I need to work on right now. I want T to be able to fix me the way I want to be able to fix my son. I get as upset and angry with his shortcoming as I do with my own.

Searching, yes, time for myself but not alone--with others. T said I am alone too much and he doesn't want me to isolate. I think he's right. I just don't know how to do this. Maybe I am isolating from him too? Don't know.

Gimmeice and EM, you both expressed the idea of the relationship being stronger after working through something--I hope this is the case.

Thank you all.