I think each person has there own story and we each need to find a T that will work with us on the things we need to work on. Our host is Diana. She doesnt listen to our comments, thoughts or ideas. She prefers to pretend that we don't exisit. This is painfull to some of the Clan members who only strive to help and protect. We have no memories of the past truama that made us this way. The part that held such memories is long gone and never heard from. We often think that part died many years ago. We continue on caring for the little ones and watching the ones who would cause Diana harm. Ort T is working with Diana on self esteem. Lately she has asked why no one but Diana has been to see her. The truth to that is that things have been stressfull and Diana has greatly benifited from seeing her T. If someone else were to have gone then Diana would have missed out. Our T does not doubt who we are nor would she ever want us to hide from her.

As for you knowing of your system; There are no rules to DID that says you are not supposed to know about each other. In my oppinion it makes healing easier if you know and accept each other. To say your Dx is not real because of your knowlege of each other is absurd. It simply means that you are more open to total healing. Diana still refuses to speak to us and even has a hard time awknowlegeing us when one of us helps her out. The only good thing is that when she looses time she does not freak out. She simply moves on as if nothing happened. Many times she is not even aware that she has lost time unless it is brought to her attention.

The way you feel is not weird. There are many who feel as you do. It is simply normal to them. There too are those who feel as Diana does and deny that we exisit. This too is normal. There is nothing wierd or wrong for either you or Diana. It is simply how you feel and that is that.

I hope some of what I said brings you some comfort.
Denise of the Clan