well, what you see, with me, is what you get. i've abused pills. i don't anymore and haven't in about 6/7 years...i like the 'downers'..i could never do anything that made me the least bit jittery. i can get jittery just by waking up each morning. you'd think that i would have used a lot of coke when i worked for Willie Nelson. nope, our drug of choice was pot then. cocaine didn't really come into my picture because he didn't use it...after my divorce, i couldn't sleep..ever...so i started using whatever i could get a doctor to prescribe for me. in a rural locale, it's easy to skip around because no one will know you in a small town setting. plus the doctors don't communicate...so i got a lot of stuff then. when my youngest daughter got pregnant, i threw everything away. no way was i going to be a drug abusing grandmother...i had become a lot more physically active then and i think it really helped me with withdrawal and mood swings. i would go out and climb this mountain that was in the village and throw up two or three times, before i got to the top. now that i've been diagnosed BP, with the research i've done..it's no surprise that i abused pills....thanks tgrs...