Today is the day I was supposed to see my sister, but cancelled. Until today, I had regrets. Did I do the right thing? It might have been fun. I don't want to hurt her. But last week I was miserable, feeling like I'd given in because of her emotional blackmail. I feel like I need to be deliberate in my dealings with her, and be certain that I'm aware of my feelings.

Today I'm glad I don't have to go out. If she's still angry at me, at least that might keep her from calling and pressuring me for a while.

When I'm not online, I have the phone unplugged, since my sister gets my mother involved, who enjoys blaming me. Neither respects my boundaries.

It's hard, trying to be a good person. Learning boundaries is for my survival. But I was raised being told that family is the only thing you can count on, and that runs deep inside of me, even when presented with evidence to the contrary.

If someone told me they needed to be alone right now, I would say, "That's ok. I understand." Not, "Whatever you say."

I'm scared, knowing they'll find a way to get to me. They always do.