Morgate it sound like you are numb, thats a common thing in PTSD - we shut down our feelings so we survive - a T can help you switch them back on and deal with what happened to you - I am glad you are getting help P7
(((Can't remember)))
I play the class clown at work so no-one will see the real me too - one dayt maybe we can just be us whatever that is
P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet