I have been struggling with depression eating disorders and bipolar for many years. Recently my depression and anxiety have reached a level where thoughts of doing something harmful are increasing daily. I can barely function. This has been going on as far as regressing for about 3 months or so. I went through a divorce approx. 7 mos ago. When I have the kids I force myself to function to a certain extent and they are the reason I live. However when they are not here I do not get out of bed anymore, talk to anyone, either overeat or not at all, cry etc. I can not function. I let the mail pile up for days until I have to leave the house. My problem is that if I seek treatment again and he finds out that I am not doing well He will fight for full custody. I am always there for the kids and never neglect them. I am "happy" and very patient and extremely loving and affectionate towards them. I just don't know how long I can keep this up and I don't want to lose my kids. It would devastate me. I know I really need to seek help but like I said if word got to him (even though kids are very well cared for at my house) he will use it to fight me for full custody. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and don't know what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks