I empathize. My best (and only) friend is charismatic, hilarious, good-looking, successful with women due to all of the aforementioned traits working in tandem, and will be going off to Brazil to audition for a position on a famous soccer team next year, which he very well may get, ostensibly leaving me alone.

I wish I could be happy for him without harboring unspoken disdain for his traits and accomplishments--I really, really do--but as I am antithetical to all that he is and wallowing in a sea of negativity at the moment, it's difficult not to be a little jealous.

Just a few weeks ago he, an old friend of his whom I had never met, and I all went out for a bit, and watching her more or less throw herself at him whilst completely ignoring me didn't exactly leave me with the best feeling, so, not to be redundant, but...yeah, I definitely know where you're coming from. =/

You aren't a bad friend or a horrible person in the slightest. Jealousy is a human emotion and, well, we're all human. Admittedly, though, I...don't exactly know how to get over this hurdle. I suppose all we can do is try our best to stop comparing ourselves to others, and, in your case, establishing a dialogue with your boyfriend about how his accomplishments make you feel a little insecure may not be that horrible an idea. I'm sure he'd be sympathetic and offer reassurance as any loving boyfriend would.

If all else fails, I hope the knowledge that you're not alone in this will at least provide you a modicum of comfort. I really hope things improve!