I'm sorry you are struggling right now. Do you have a therapist? I don't have the problem of yelling because my brain has always been about hiding and being un-noticed, but I do have times where I can't seem to do what is needed. It's so hard when I shut down or disappear and things have to get done. If you do end up going to that hospital and flying, perhaps you can take some anxiety medicine to help you be calm?

There is a lot of self talk here- just telling brain that it's okay now, saying encouraging things, etc. I didn't always do that though and I know how hard that is. But I have found that the more I do it, the more it helps.

Please take gentle care.