hi tony, i read all the postings, too. so guess i'll jump in, the only person that i can change in this world is myself. i have no control of either changing others or making them do what i want them to do. i've learned that is the healthier approach of doing business with this life of mine.
it would seem that you are caught in a "3 way". it also appears your gf isn't totally sure of what she wants...you or him. i'm sorry that this makes you feel the way you do...but such is life..it isn't good or bad, it just is.
jme, but i'd let things lie where they may. if it doesn't work out, then maybe it is somethiing you wouldn't have wanted anyway. i was once told, be careful for what you pray for...you might get it.
what if it works out like you want it to be? then picture yourself as the ex later down the road... see what i mean? take care and know that we understand....sorry it's rough going for you right now.