I also agree you are not weird. I have the same situation. I have only recently remembered most of my childhood and the trauma of sexual abuse and a psychotic mother and absent father who told me I was responsible for my mother when I was 5 or 6. It is like I cannot remember and feel at the same time. I have very little feeling for that little girl and my T keeps telling me I need to love her and hold her but it is like she does not exist in my mind. It is very strange and, I think, largely dissociative for me. At least I have a wonderful T to help me with it all to help integrate that little girl into who I am today.