I have similiar experiences, I go through hypervigilance, I make choices as to where to sit in public etc. according to what feels safest, and I tend to be ready for the worst.

Reminds me of taking a walk years ago with a friend who was a Vietnam vet. The bushes near us rustled in the wind, he immmediately was in a full crouch and ready to defend himself. War experience wired him to expect rustling bushes to equal enemy fire.

What's tricky for me is that some of what I expect in my hypervigilance -may- be real. In other words, the cell phone could be a gun. We all do need to be safe and alert, watchful. Difficult stuff does happen. Reality does at times include danger.

So, the balance is in how we can live, survive and thrive, while being realistic, watchful, alert, paying attention to our instincts....-and- also keep ourselves on a reasonable non-reactive even keel. Definitely a balancing act, and I believe it can be done.

I'm less hypervigilant when I've eaten well, slept well, when I've taken good care of myself and have a good sturdy foundation. Though that ain't necessarily a guarantee either.

I try to remind myself that hypervigilance was a survival strategy, it has nothing to do with my worth, I am not bad or stupid. It was a survival strategy and now I can learn how to fine tune it, use it rather than be used by it.

Sarah