No matter what I do, it ends up badly. I feel my compassion might be some big power trip lie, and I only do "good things" so I can feel like I deserve something, and that I'm essentially nothing but selfish. I don't mean to hurt people, but I DO, and that makes me bad.

I'm in real need of some spiritual guidance. I have no idea what to do with myself, besides jump off a bridge, which would only instill the irony further.