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FJRPC · Jan 20, 2009, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

Thank you once again, nightbird. You have a calming effect with your kind words.

And thank you FJRPC, for your good thoughts.

My mom had a full life but it was a very difficult one. Despite all the hardship though, she managed to laugh a lot and have fun. For that I am grateful.

Her husband (my dad) died when she was 38 years old (I was 10) and left her with three teenage boys and me, with no life insurance and a house that was in the middle of repairs.

She had to borrow money to bury him from her parents who were not the kindest people in the world and totally unsupportive.

The boys were angry and rebellious and started getting into trouble with the law. They were into drugs at an early age and became full fledged junkies in their teens.

The need for heroin was so strong they started lives of crime. Breaking and entering charges were commonplace but it also led to robbery charges etc. which ultimately led to prison terms.

My mother drank to escape and battle her own demons.

The boys battled drugs the rest of their lives until one died of a heroin overdose at age 38, and another one died from aids at age 42.

My mother never got over the death of her husband and then to lose two sons within five years of each other was almost too much to bear.

A year after her second son died, she battled breast cancer. A year later she was diagnosed with lung cancer (unrelated) and had her left lung removed and a piece of her right lung. The Dr. told us she was at a high risk for recurrence within five years.

But my mother was a strong woman and managed to go on. She spent the last four years of her life in Florida, in a retirement community which she loved. For the first time in her life she owned her own home, made a bundle of new friends (she had isolated after her sons died) and totally enjoyed herself.

Then her lung cancer returned ten years after her other lung was removed. They gave her 6 months to a year but she got pneumonia and died sooner than expected. She fought a valiant battle right up to the end.

My mom suffered the last three days of her life and I am still mad that someone who had gone through SO MUCH in her life would have to suffer like that at the end. She passed as peacefully as possible. I am thankful for morphine.

Sorry to ramble on and on. I guess I just needed to get that out.

From where I sit, don't EVER apologize for getting things out like that. I have no idea who you are, or who your mother was, but I can tell you this, from reading that post, I am inspired.

I deal with my own petty low self opinoin issues, and am taking wellbutrin and paxil to try and cope, but I have not endured a fraction of what your mother did.

To hear about someone that dealt with so much adversity, and must have felt awful failure (I'm sorry, I'm making an assumption) about the condition of her sons...well, I just can't imagine that I'd have the strength to persevere as she did.

Your mom chose to address adverse conditions with strength, and that is admirable. May God protect and comfort her soul, and may your rememberance of her live on as a lesson to others on how to live.

Peace to you, and there aren't enough hugs in my life to give you.

PC