for what it's worth... just a thought, that maybe we need more than just one type of friendship?
you've got the intimate relationship, the family relationship

but to have friends... just average hang out friends IS different. And sometimes we need that. But then... your ?social anxiety? if I can call it that? gets in the way.

Don't think about it as letting them down. What they want is you. Your husband is your husband for a reason. Hold onto that reason, if you can. Remember that despite shortcomings, you still have much to offer.

And try to find way to get out if you can, just don't push yourself too hard
*hugs*