Hi Simon, my partner was not sexually abused as a child and kudos to you for working through that one, by the way, but he has a very low self esteem around women. He did not lose his virginity until he was 21 and I am only his second serious relationship. He is 34. I am 35. I think he is the sexiest thing on legs and other women think so too! He is also my best friend and we really love each other.

On the contrary, I have made it, in the past, my mission to sleep with as many people as possible, commit crime, and engage in as much self-destructive behaviour as I can. We could not be more different in our behaviors. I was abused as a child and I have HUGE intimacy problems.

My point is that I don't think that you are wrong in wanting to wait.....maybe take some of the "performance anxiety" pressure off. Intimacy can be terrifying at the best of times without the added abusive history. I am sorry to say but if this girl can't cope with what you have said then she is not going to take the best care of you. You should never feel like what happened to you is going to always get in the way of true love. You deserve the very best of people in your life.