Hugs Mary Alice.
I wish there was some great wisdom I could give you. I can tell you I care.
You seem to have a pretty good grasp on what you are feeling and why.
Keep searching for that reason to make it to the next day. I believe you will find it.

Deal with those things in life that you KNOW are bringing you down. It will make your fight and your life so much easier. Life is hard enough without having to put up with unnecessary [censored]. Get rid of those things. You deserve so much better.

I am glad you are doing well at work. It does give you some sort of feeling of accomplishment. I do understand about going thru the motions though and not really caring.

Lots of hugs.
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin