No, you're definitely not a bad person. As you say, you just haven't found something that you can really get yourself into and succeed at. That is perfectly normal. But trust me, there is something out there for everybody.

It took me 8 years of fulminating after my first trip through college to find something I truly enjoy. I went back to school and things are looking good, but I still have doubts that I'm on the right path. But my main point is that it can take a long time to find that thing to do that you love...it's sure hard to be patient, though.

As for the jealousy thing, I have a story that might help. In my freshman year in college (first time around), my next door neighbour in residence was a real hit with the girls, while I was constantly striking out in the same realm. Anyway, towards the middle of the year he starting going out with a girl he truly cared about (I believe they're married now, though I've lost touch with him). At first I was hugely bitter, but then for some reason my feelings changed. The thing is that he was a nice guy, and he made sure to include me in his circle of friends as much as he could, since he could see that I was struggling. And then I realized that I could feel happy for someone else, and it made me feel better as well. Something really "clicked" inside me, and now I find it a lot easier to feel happy for other people's successes even when I'm having hard times.

I'm not saying that that's going to happen with you, or should at this point...it sounds like you're having a bit of a rough patch. What I am saying is that it can happen. You can feel happy for other people, and you can be better off for it, because at least you can gain their sympathies for your own struggles.

The important thing, though, is not to invalidate your feelings. If you're feeling a bit bitter at the moment, it's perfectly natural. Good luck with everything.