I thought I"d throw in my two cents, and hopefully make you feel better. I also have depression (Or Bipolar, they havent decided) and general anxiety disorder. In my relationship with my boyfriend, I'm the one that feel defective, and I'm always apologizing for him "getting stuck with a crazy girlfriend." It's really awful of me, but the thing is he cares about me and tells me not to be sorry. He helps calm me down when I'm having an anxiety attack and he's there to hug me or talk to me on the phone when I'm feeling depressed. Moral of the story, you should not feel ashamed or defective of who you are, regardless of what that may mean, because the person that you are meant to be with will love you completely just as you are, and they will support you, and if you are sick they will want you and help you to get better, whether its the flu, you broke a leg, or you have a mental illness. In my opinion, distance yourself from negative influences, (especially a boy that just wants to keep you on the back burner as a just in case girl). Find postive, caring people, make a support system, and do things that make you happy; forget the rest.

Best wishes,
Ro