I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and that your doctor reacted in that way to you. You did the right thing being honest with him and that was extremely rude of him to react in that way. I really encourage you to try to find a Therapist who can help you, and there are people here who can help you. I haven't been member of this site for long but I have already found people to be very caring. I am thinking of you!