((((((((((((((((((((((((sunrise))))))))))))))))))))))

My own kids are not teenagers yet, so I have no idea if this will be any help...but sometimes, when I am having trouble with one of my kids, I read books on typical development for kids at whatever age they are, and it turns out it isn't really "them" or "me", but sort of a developmental stage that we have to get through. And I wonder how the divorce plays into whatever crazy-making behaviors 14 year olds already have??

Don't give up. It sounds like you are working really, really hard. I almost wonder if you are working TOO hard? Maybe just do the family therapy with your D, but also give yourself room to breathe and just "be" knowing that you are working on the relationship, but that it won't "get better" on your time schedule??

T and I have a phrase, "keep swimming" that we use. He tells me to "keep swimming" which means to keep working, keep moving ahead. When I got way too overwhelmed in the fall, we both realized that maybe "swimming" isn't always the way to go. Sometimes, it's time to just float a bit. I wonder if it's time for you and D to just float some??

I wonder how much of the stress you are feeling is tied up in the custody fear? Like "I have to make this work, NOW, or I will lose custody"? And I wonder how realistic that is? Sometimes we can make up stories in our head that seem really REAL, but they are just that, stories....

(((((((((((((((sunny)))))))))))))))) I'm sorry this is so hard right now.