 i'm sorry you are so sad. i miss my father too. he died when he was 45(1968) and i loved him with all my heart. the only thing i can tell you is that the pain is lessened with time. i still miss him...almost every day tho. i guess the best way to look at this is how very fortunate we were to have such special fathers. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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