Hey Simon,

I think it is a great thing that you told her. As this will lay a basis for a relationship. Getting the ground in place is very important. As you know from our conversations, I did not tell my wife until recently aand I wish I had a long time ago. It makes it easier to form a relationship when you don't have secrets or anything that may cause a problem in the relationship. She will respect the fact that you were honest with her and it may take some time for her to understand some of her feelings. Just like we have feelings to deal with, when they find out that someone they like has had these horrible things happen they need time to figure it out just like us. You will find someone even if this girl is not what seems like the right one. When you told her and she said that she couldn't handle it was she refering to the abuse fact or the depression. People do have a hard time with trying to help other people who are depressed, especially if they have not been depressed themsleves. ( yes everyone in their life has been depressed but I mean a clinical state of depression). It sounds like you know what you are looking for in a mate and that is going to be very helpful. You should talk with her and see what she is having a hard time with. Communication is the key, trust me. In the past 23 years that I have been alive and having been with my wife for seven years, with a child we had while highschool, I have learned that communication is the key. Without that you will have a hard time. I hate going back to my expireneces but Simon, you can and will do this. You still have a lifetime ahead of you , there will be someone special there for you. Like you hear....Rome was not built in a day....give life time, no reason to rush into things. You are still young. Someone is there and this girl sounds great...give her some time but talking won't hurt anything. Sit down, have a coffee, whatever and have a long talk...I am positive that it will benefit you both. Take care. Talk to you again soon Simon.