Wonderful, a new sense of humor on the site! Welcome indeed, can never have too much of that.

Yeah, the weight gain on Zyprexa is rather extraordinary. My brother is on rather a high dose of the stuff, and he went from athletic linebacker build to almost 300 pounds of inertia. But he can't seem to do without it either. Question: When you took the zyprexa, did it affect your psycotic symptoms or anxiety in a positive way at all? The reason I ask, is simply to explore further this idea of an emergency med. I focus on zyprexa because it works immediately in the short term. My point is that if say, the paranoia is at a point where your functioning is impaired, and a zyprexa tablet knocks the cold sweat out of it, and you can get yourself to work and through your day, then it's a good emergency tool. Once the symptom passes, put the pills away until the next incident arises. Have you tried that approach? Like when I get the screaming voice in my head that despairs the fact that I draw breath on this planet, If I stay on the zyprexa for only a few days, it's gone, and I didn't have to open my wrists to make it stop.

From the other end of the spectrum, I find that mindfulness is the key to survival. Ever heard of DBT? Dialectical Behavioral Training? It's all about mindfulness training. It's the best thing to ever emerge in the field of mental health in my opinion.

If you're in the mood for a good laugh, go to Creative Corner and read the Aphrodite and Adonis thread by Ganesha. It's long, but you won't regret it. lol.