T told me he would try to call during his break from 2 - 2:30 to let me know how it went. He hasn't called. I have another phone appt about my son and some medical issues at 2:45, so it looks like the phone call with T isn't going to happen right now

He said if he didn't call between 2 and 2:30 he would try to call around 5:45 - he has to be somewhere at 6.

I seriously, SERIOUSLY don't think I'm going to make it. I've been keeping so, so, so busy all day to stay distracted, and now I'm just out of steam. I really thought we would talk at 2

My paranoid mind is thinking that it's too complicated to talk about on the phone, and he's just going to wait until my appointment tomorrow to talk to me about it.

I'm a mess.

And Sannah, to answer your question - my mom always told me she would kill me if I told, that no one would believe me, etc. etc. I know there is some old mom stuff mixed up in here. When I was growing up if two adults were talking about me- and I had told one of them all of my secrets - it would NOT have been a safe, good situation. I have this terror that I think is kind of related to that.

I really don't know what to do.