I think back in horror at how insecure I was with my husband. I found pictures of him partying with girls and other guys, shortly after we were married. My reaction to these pictures was irrational, but he quickly disposed of them. I was so insecure! I look back on this now, many years later, married to him for 20 years without one incident to cause concern, and realize how insecure and irrational I was. We're divorced now, and I dated several men after the divorce, during which I also exhibited similar behaviors. Looking back on it now, it was all so unnecessary.
You've been with him for 10 years, have children with him. It does sound like you might benefit from counseling or adjusted medication. Sometimes we NEED the medication and counseling. I was on various SSRI's for 17 years. I just managed to wean off Paxil during a two year decrease, but I am not one to advise going off medications if they are beneficial.
I do recognize the behaviors you are describing. It sounds like you have a good and patient man in your life. Try to assess what you are doing and what can be done to alleviate some of the doubts and anxiety you are experiencing.
Patty