Tony I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. The members that have stated that the only thing you can change is yourself are correct. You cannot change this girl or the way she feels.

Trust is a very important thing in a relationship. You need to be able to trust your instincts. I don't know what made you decide to look at her laptop and text messages. Something told you that you needed to know what was going on.

On the other hand, I think I'd kill my husband if he started looking through my email, phone, computer, purse or anything else private. I have nothing to hide, he has all of my passwords and I have all of his. I ask him to go into my email to do things like answer one of his sibling's emails, but he'd never just randomly go on my computer or into my private files without asking. Neither of us would dream of invading on the other's privacy. But we trust each other completely.

So I guess my question to you is: what made you distrust her to begin with? Space and time alone is normal and important. I do not understand her need for closure with someone she cared so little about to break up with over the phone, but then that's me.