Back again.... Talked with her last night on yahoo, and i told her that i was thinking about giving it another chance, but the amount of stress it put me under was nearly unbearable. And I do not want to live with that the next time i deploy.
She told me she would come to Japan, bu I can't risk it. Not just health/stress issues, but last time I came home and tried to work things out about the infedelity, the last day i was there she changed her mind about wanting to stay in the marriage. It not only crushed me, but made everything I did seem like it didn't have an impact on her. I think she finally realized that I am a patient person and that there aren't many men out there who would've done what I did for her (bringing this burden with me while deployed and me trying to make her feel better and get rid of her fears).
Then she told me something that got me thinking. She said that when I get stationed stateside, she is willing to move and live with me. That tells me two things- 1. She wants to be with me 2. She isn't after the money bc as you military wives and former military wives know, spouses rate a certain amount of $ (usually spent on housing), but nonetheless you rate it. She said she doesn't care about that, she wants to be with me and just wished that it would've worked out different.
I told her that I can't say yes on just words anymore. I have to see something and that would most likely be something taht would gain my trust again.